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Staples (2014-present)

I have a lot of fun at this job. I work mostly as a cashier but sometimes get to fix a customers computer over in tech. I spend most of the day playing on my phone and scaring my manager Tammy by yelling BOO! really loud. For some reason a lot of new rules have been made.

Here's a few of my favorites...

  • No snowball fights inside the store.
  • I am not allowed to use a hammer.
  • I am not allowed to make nametags after the Roy Gherbil Facebook incident.
  • No hiding inside the big metal cabinet to jump out and scare people.
  • Tammy is not allowed to schedule me on April Fools Day.
  • No more surprise parties in the managers offices.

 

My "Employee of the Month" Film Strip!


Kinney Drugs (2017-present)

I work as a cashier at Kinney's. I do enjoy working here, but this job is more serious than my others, so I don't have any funny stories to go with this one. I show up, listen to my boss, do my job and go home. I've got bills to pay and I can't afford to get fired.

 


Town Taxi (2017-2017)

I drove a taxi for Town Taxi a couple times. I never really quit here, I just haven't driven after those couple times. The city permit cost too much and I didn't have the cash to make change. The most memorable moments from this job were when I got pulled over and had to talk my way out of a ticket (headlight issue) while I was driving a prostitute to Keeseville and she kept asking the cop for his phone number and when I had to stop suddenly on the interstate to let a bunch of drunk people puke their brains out on the side of the road.

 

       


Price Chopper Supermarkets / Market 32 by Price Chopper (2016-2017)

This job was okay. It didn't pay much and had no employee discount but it was a job. I worked here for almost a year before one of my managers Patty got on my nerves by writing me up for being absent when I had a doctors note so I promoted myself to customer with my beautiful greeting card of resignation I drew in crayon.



  Walmart (2016-2016)

I worked here for 1 day. I decided that it was too corporatey for me and I never came back except to collect my paycheck. I kept the vest and nametag for future mischief...

 


Chick-fil-a (2013-2014)

This job was kinda fun and sucked at the same time. I mostly worked in the dining room cleaning already cleaned tables to look busy and offer to "refresh" a customers beverage. They hated the word "refill" for some reason. I also got to wear the cow suit at store events which was fun. Except the costume was always broken and the cows foot was unsafe to wear. They fixed it when the cows foot ended up in a trash can never to be seen again. One of my managers was a Stupidvisor. I stayed at this job for as long as I could. But 3 hours a week at minimum wage wasn't very motivating for me to walk 25 minutes to work. Despite my best efforts, it took a while to get out of this job. They would pick me up when I tried to stay home. One day when I was tired and didn't want to get up, I scheduled my computer to fax in my resignation 4 hours before my shift started and went back to sleep. Apparently I was too polite in my resignation letter and offered to keep working as the cow at events. I didn't think they would call me back, but they did. I worked as the cow for a few more months before walking off during a major event after they denied me a water break. It was over 90 degrees outside. They finally left me alone after that.

 

Thrift 'n Gift / Thrift 2 Gift (2011-2014)

This started out as a volunteer internship but I stayed afterward because it was fun. Eventually I got paid to work one day a week and volunteered the other days. I really like thrift shops so I had a lot of fun here and made lots of friends while working there. I really got to see the company grow as they expanded to a bigger store. Some of my favorite memories of this job are dressing up in the clown suit and playing with the boombox and other various merchandise to encourage people driving by the store to shop at various charity events. and the puppet I found in the back room. I always go back to visit this store when I am in town visiting my family.


 


Last Update: Thursday, July 13, 2017 08:05 PM -0400

          

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